"I HAVE A PLAN 4 U"

Disclaimer: The following is pure fiction and is written for entertainment purposes only. The author is not associated with any insurance company. It does not constitute an offer of insurance. Any link to any insurance company or persons in the insurance industry is purely coincidental. ..
_____________________________________________


It's called the Jerome Special. It really is a great plan...........

• one MD visit every ten years
• discount Rx plan---buy 100 Paxil @ the regular price and receive not one, two, three, or four, but five Cialis at absolutely no charge. It's our way of saying, "thank you for becoming a member".

Now, under this plan,  you will have some  hospital coverage, in the event you were to slip, trip, fall, break a leg or Marquez drives you legally insane and you require in-patient counseling.

And best of all, the premium on this plan, if you act now, is just $29.95 per month.

And, if you enroll in the next hour, we will throw in, as part of the package...........

• two (2) tickets to Great Adventure Action Park (Safari not included) with round trip transportation provided by our very own Christopher M. aka "the original TSP Party Animal"

• enrollment in the AAA Road Service "whooptie plan" in case the car doesn't make it.

• One (1) "I Love Ramen Noodles" T-shirt, personally autographed by our very own John H!

      ...BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Enroll today and we will waive the following fees:

1. The one time enrollment fee
2. The Sydni house-cleaning supplies and maid service fee.
3. The Andrew hair transplant fee.
4. The Rose bodyguard fee against maniacal ex-spouses.
5. The Claude W. super-collegiate vocabulary fee.
6. The John H. ramen noodles around-the-clock fee.
7. The Chris M. fan club fee
8. The Lydia missing persons fee.
9. The "funeral for the conference table fog nightmare=no more lunch room" fee.

and last but not least, we'll even waive the Robert S. "Every Day Is Dress-Down Friday" fee!

Now, does this sound like a plan that meets your needs?
GREAT! WHAT'S THE SHIPPING ADDRESS WE'RE SENDING YOUR POLICY CARDS TO?