Monday, September 12, 2011

BY SPECIAL REQUEST... MEET MISS S.S.

I have received a request from the "Dime Piece of Mantolokin", to post about her on my blog.

My reaction was one of wonderment and shock.

A. Why-- Is she aware of my tendency to use the pen as a sword.

B. Challenge--by the time I actually think of good things to say about her, we'll be in the next millenium (I know I"m gonna get slapped for that one).

C. Restraint--can I actually act like a grown adult and refrain from being silly, cute, cornball and, not the least, perverse?  I mean, put yourself in my place, readers. A former co-worker/now a friend, twenty-something, with curves that have not even been invented yet on other women, comes to you and says, "write about me"....and you're no longer at the firm, a.k.a. first amendment privilege/no restrictions... what would you do?  Would you respond, "uh, can I sleep on it and get back to you?"....not!!  You know you're gonna run with it.

Time will tell if she regrets making this request.

However, let it be noted, the only reason she gets a write-up, is because her sister and I use the same soap, the infamous Dr. Bronners.  Also see this link Without this, she's ghost. Hell to the N-O.  (LOL). By this request, she gives me carte blanche to talk about her.

SS is one of those rare breeds that comes along every so often in my journey. She is mature beyond her years, reliable, punctual, articulate, charming, and professional, having been a successful TSP. (Other than that, between you and me, reader, I really can't stand her).
The fact she looks good has no bearing on my decision (I"m not under oath, it's ok to lie)


I met her at another job interview, and she was kind enough to turn me on to another job opportunity, where we became co-workers for about six months.

How she put up with me for even six days defies logic.

And, being a typical male, it took me six months to thank her. And I'm still standing to tell about it, ain't that something?


She is the "glue" of Mantolokin, having taken the place of another administrative assistant, Miss "L",  whose whereabouts are unknown. (Last time I saw her, she was  guzzling down massive amounts of a fake Aloe Vera drink in the North Ward. I say "fake" because it was 99% high fructose corn syrup and 1% aloe, which is so whacked, I will have to write another blog about that (damn).  This change was a good thing. Would you rather be around an administrative assistant with a PMS scale of 2 or 22?


SS is a multi-tasker, answering to the boss, serving as human resource department, sales trainer, typist, receptionist, cleaning up after co-workers, some of whom act like they were "dragged up" instead of "raised up". (a.k.a:"Conference Table Fog Nightmare = No More Lunch Room").


She effectively interacts with everyone, regardless of age or ethnicity.

Not the least of her qualities, she turns heads in a crowd. She dresses most attractively, showing off her best without looking cheap (unlike the hoochie mamas on bus #'s 13B, 13T, 24, 27 and especially  BumBitch Bus #39, who let their "booty-dos", "muffin tops", and unshaved buttocks (??!!) hang out). In other words, there's a way to dress to attract but leave enough not showing, to pique curiosity and remain business-like. She uses the hair bow most effectively, to put the focus on her eyes (the fact I would write this and not even know what color they are, is as good a reason as any for a woman to put her foot up a guy's butt---first-class, signed, sealed and delivered). Anyway, put her in black leg warmers and a mint green tube-top (her best color), and she has virtually no competition--ladies, take it down&out out, bounce, whatever....S.S. is comin' thru! (I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she reads this..."Anthony, some old a-- dude is trackin me and pushin up wrong....SOS!!")

The last paragraph has no bearing on my assessment of her, and if I'm frontin', let the sky fall down on me (I'm looking at the ceiling as I write this).

And she endured my obnoxious questions  when we were part of a carpool (but never answered my question about Victoria's secret. That's for another day. However, if I find out that Vicky's makes the product I inquired of, there will be major drama!!

All in all, I'm glad we crossed paths. But the fact she would ask me, of all people, to write about her, has me concerned about her mind. Perhaps her work station is too close to C.M.

p.s......so, S.S., any second thoughts regarding your request?

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