Sunday, September 11, 2011

WE INTERRUPT OUR NORMALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM TO BRING YOU....

...this flash announcement....

This normally scheduled monthly blog, has turned into a more frequent one, due to the actions of one CHRISTOPHER M., previously noted here as the original TSP Party Animal.

Last report, he was off to greener pastures. As soon as you could say, "boo"...

HE'S BAAACKK!!

a new diagnosis..TSP REMORSE!! After much soul searching, Mr. M. realized, "there's no place like home" Back where he belongs. On the dialer. Standing up at his station, moving his head from side-to-side, like an NFL running back, while probing the future customer, "is it medicaid, medicare, cobra, employee-covered..." Throwing the prospect into curiosity (what is the gender of the person I'm speaking with?)

With a new system in place, which virtually prevents Mr. M. from accidentally  x-fering a call to his mobile phone,, with signs in huge print at his work station to remind him of where he is and the name of the company he represents (so he doesn't black out during in-coming calls), a reserved parking spot on the street in the heart of Industrial Ironbound, adjacent to a gourmet lunch truck,to procure the nourishment he will need after the post-hours marathon booty calls in the back seat of his full-sized Buick, with the sorority known as "Chris's Misses Groupies Unlimited",  Mr. M returned to Mantolokin recharged, refreshed, with a new outlook on life.

Mr. M. was welcomed back with (half) open arms from his peers, who immediately made him feel like he'd never left ("yo, Chris, drive me to the train station". "Yo, home boy, lend me fifty cent"). 

Avenue P, in anticipation of Mr. M's return, has been lined with crash pads to prevent inury to his legions of fans, particularly the fainting women. The city of Newark has not seen anything like this since Jay Z played the Prudential Center (citation pending).

What is truly amazing is the similarity of this story and that of Phil McConkey of the 1986  New York Giants. McConkey was traded at the start of the season, then came back mid-season to savior the Lombardi trophy.. The day he returned,  when asked how things were with another team, he stated, "the grass is greener... my ass!" We are confident Christopher would echo those sentiments.

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